I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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