apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
