The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
