I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
