My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You took a bar mat shot.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
