I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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