Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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