Pappa wants mamma naked
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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