is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
