Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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