All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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