Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
