i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Screwed.edu
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
