That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
