he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Randomize
