maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was born a porn star she said
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
