Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
