when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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