he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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