What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
