Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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