i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize