Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
