YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
is it fun? or sober?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
