I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
