I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
