Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize