Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
