Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
