And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
