The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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