i don't like sucking hair
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
