It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
