Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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