Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
