shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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