So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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