can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
