Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
