Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There r osticjed everywhere
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
