There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
