i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
