im about as happy as oj after his trial
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
