I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
