it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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