Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
