READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
