we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
