i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize