I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
