I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
