Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
