Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
