new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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