We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
