Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize