Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
