I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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