i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
