hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
