You're completely useless in the revolution.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize